Just like Lola

When i was little i always struggled with simple survey questions...i'm really quite an indecisive person. The questions regarding favorites (like "what's your favorite color?") were particularly challenging. So "What's your favorite color?" seems like such a simplistic thing to ask; however, for me it led a series of overwhelming emotions and an internal conflict leaving me in a flustered uncertainty about everything.

On one hand, I didn't want to choose just one color b/c i didn't want anyone to think i disliked the other colors...each one is just as vibrant and unique as the others and quite honestly i don't feel particularly more passionate about one specific color than another. Favorites are the hardest to choose when you want all the colors to feel as equally loved as you feel towards them. The question was also hard b/c i didn't want people to make assumptions about me based on my answer...like i wasn't positive that whatever i answered with is truly my favorite color and i didn't want people to judge me based on what i said. I didn't want them to draw conclusions about who i am and what kind of person i am all because of my favorite color because i wasn't even totally sure that what i said truly is my favorite color!!

Furthermore i didn't wanna seem too girly by picking the stereotypical girl colors....i don't like supporting stereotypes...especially gender ones. But as you see the deep contemplation for this simple question evidently foreshadows many dilemmas in my future because the future leaves you with many decisions to face. The largest most ominous one being what do i wanna do with my life? What job do i wish to  pursue? How do i choose one career and not make all the others feel left out? How can adequately weigh my options without trying them all equally? What if i make the wrong decision and miss out on so many wonderful experiences? This is obviously a problem. But recently i watched a movie that i hadn't seen in a long time and it all became clear.
When i grow up, i want to be a drag queen.

Several weekends ago i watched this movie that i hadn't seen in a long time. It was one of those things where you watch it and at the end of it you're wondering how you managed to forget about its existence and are curious why it isn't on your favorite films list. The movie is called Kinky Boots. It's this intriguing movie full of actors and actresses with wonderful british accents. The plot focuses on a relatively young man who owns a shoe factory and how he must make fancy heels and boots for drag queens in order to prevent his family's business from going under. I'm not trying to force you into watching or loving it....but like i really think it is a rather phenomenal movie.

BUT anyway...Lola.

Lola lola lola...'tis a good name, no? It just kinda rolls around on your tongue until it finally teeters off. I find it to be quite satisfying name. :) ANYWAY, the movie. and the point. I'M GETTING THERE.....ok but in this movie, Lola is the drag queen that the main character befriends and such. I don't want to spoil the movie or anything for you so we'll leave it at that. The character Lola is phenomenal though...like just everything everyone should be. She has every attribute that most generally well-intended people yearn to obtain. I love it. Lola glows...and not like edward cullen and his sparkly vampire skin....but like a star radiating light to those around her. Her personality is silly and kind and unique and she is she even when others attempt to coerce her to be otherwise and she just has this vibe that appears to fill the room with the warmth and heart of a large extended family gathering together for the first time in a while for dinner near a fireplace. It's quite beautiful and i, in all honestly, would love nothing more than to have that kind of inspirational effect on others. I mean I don't understand how you could not yearn a bit for the ability to open others mind with that kinda silly grace? 

Sometimes i wish i was a man just so i could dress up in drag. I think it'd be more satisfying than being a girl in boys clothes. I dunno... Maybe it's just that i want the bravery that comes with defying the social norm so flamboyantly?
but regardless.
"Be a Drag Queen" has been added to my bucket list.

Sleep-deprived Procrastination

HelloOoO WoOrldD?!?!!!!!

i'm running on a quality 3hrs of sleep and i have so much crap to do tonight so i decided to write a blog post instead........excellent logic there...obviously..

i wanted to tell you something but my sleep-deprived brain has forgotten it...


I should write a poem because there is a slam soon...slam...i always see it as SLAM!! in my head...except even bigger.

slams are good things...they sell hot chocolate there. :)
But i should write a poem.

roses are sometimes red
and violets, contrary to their name, are often blue
i love sherlock
and the vlogbrothers toooo!



well this is all for tonight. there will be real posts coming soon. i apologize for the lack of cartoons today but i frankly don't have the time, energy, or motivation to make them magically appear on the screen for you today....alas. GOOD NIGHT.

the lion and the wombat

hello again.

i have a couple of new posts that are coming soooon....so sooon...i've been rather crazy busy lately with life and all but new stuff is coming.

but for now here's just someone you should know for future posts:

the leezylou (also referred to as “the lion”) ----she (there are questions regarding this person’s gender or whether or not she is actually a person but to keep it simple we’ll pretend she is a girl) is someone who happens to spend a lot of time with me even though we are not actually friends. It is said that we have the same brain and are our school’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. However, these are all just rumors. The lion spends a lot of time on the Internet and will ALWAYS end her quotes with “XD.”

alsoooo my a couple of my next posts might contain drawings done by my friend "the wombat" who is a pretty spectacular person..like she's really quite cool so now you have a taste of her silly brain to be excited about, too.

ummmm...hrrmmdeehrrmmmhrrm....i think that is all. feel free to comment or share with friends or whatnot.

Post-School Brain Mush

 i have officially completed an ENTIRE week of school. DONE. BAM! Makes me feel like a boss… or a champ……. or an extremely overtired adolescent hopelessly trying to convince herself that she’ll survive the whole year…

My brain shuts off for the summer, like every good student. It just says good-bye to complex thinking and hello to sleep and crummy tv shows that I’ll deny that I watch if you ask me. And then comes summer work where my brain frantically panics to figure out how to work again 24 hrs before whatever tedious assignment I procrastinated doing is due. This particular summer my brain got an extra dose of happy chilled non-functioning mode b/c I got to enjoy getting my wisdom teeth out…which is another story that is more uneventful than I would’ve hoped. 

BUT ENOUGH OF THAT…the important thing is that I have completed 1 week of school. Monday through Friday. I’ve survived the 4 Tests, the tons of assignments, and the several hours of sports and now I am positively delirious and brain-dead….actually it’s not even dead but rather mush. My brain has been melted and fried by the perpetually overwhelming tasks of the week and is now just a puddle of an old, overused sponge that has degraded over time. ‘Tis an incredibly appetizing image, no? but the point being is that I am still currently in this state and have been all day.

Seriously…in bio today I realized a small zit between my eyebrows where my nose attaches to my forehead had begun to bleed and instead of being concerned about the fact that I was bleeding or that my appearance was compromised by this icky bloody pimple in the center of my face like most people I got excited because I KNOW THE WORD FOR THAT PART OF MY FACE. it’s called a glabellas. And I may or may not have ran around and told pretty much everyone about this word and I might have even declared it word of the day…it’s a possibility.

The effects of sleep-deprived brain mush continued on even after I left school. My plan for the afternoon was to come home, go for a run, shower, nap, and eat a quiet dinner out with my friend this evening. Alas, when I walked in through the front door i saw the couch…so welcoming and comfy compared to the hard desk I’ve been desperately trying not to rest my head on…this couch whose sole purpose in life is to be the place where tired, overworked people can come and rest their body...like a haven for your muscles (brain included). AND THE NUTELLA !! IT CALLED FOR ME.  I swear I heard it’s compelling whispers coercing me to take just one spoonful…the damn food knows me so well..just one taste and I’m suckered in. So this is how my “after school run” turned into a nice “sit on your ass eating nutella and watching teennick and the titanic” kind of afternoon.

In the evening I went out with my friend to wander the streets in search of the best dinner places within our price range. We were just moseying along when we stumble upon possibly one of the best things ever. It is this tiny hole-in-a-wall waffle shop that radiated the scent of waffle ambrosia. Needless to say, we couldn’t not go inside.  We split a waffle with strawberries and bananas and MORE NUTELLA and whipped cream. Best damn waffle ever. The fresh fruit combined with my best friend nutella all covered with the happiness of whipped cream. And underneath this pile of edible heaven laid the waffle. Warm and fluffy with a bit of crunchy. In the words of my friend, it was “angel throw up.”

We continued on to eat dinner of real food at a little Mediterranean food place which means FALAFEL (awesome word right there) and this positively splendid cucumber yogurt minty sauce thing. 

And the evening wouldn’t have been complete without my almond bubble tea….see this tea had caffeine. But my body was so tired that I couldn’t just start bouncing off the walls…no the effect was much worse… uncontrollable blabbing… delirious rambling at it’s finest. My poor friend was subject to whatever words spilled outta my mouth in this horrific word vomit…the contents of which I cannot remember due to the fact that I am still in this delirium. But we did find some old band with an audience of wonderfully old people and a SPECTACULAR MOON and swings where we could run and dance barefoot in the grass and such sooo things were goood. And music playing loudly in a car is also goood.

The weirdest thing was when I got home and went on one of those goddamn addictive social networking sites and saw that someone I had no idea I was even fb friends with liked a pic on my wall…see this doesn’t happen much because I keep to my stuff and these other people do their things so in my caffeine depleted state of delirium my brain entered a swirling vortex of confusion and uncertainty about what is reality and the truth of what is happening in my life now.

So my flawlessly planned evening went up into an explosion of brain-mush-ness and I’m very happy with it. but as of now, I am incredibly unsure about how I am going to return to functioning like a human because currently it feels like I must sleep for a decade to regain any type of semi-human abilities.